Faithful Affliction

"I know, O Lord, that Thy judgments are righteous, and that in faithfulness Thou hast afflicted me."

(Psalm 119: 75)

"Man, this dirt is hard!" I spoke out loud to myself. I was trying to dig in the fresh compost into my front flowerbed. The sun's rays were adding to my frustration of dealing with the constipated soil. I was only able to get the shovel in half way, because of hitting old roots or rocks. I hadn't planned on all of this extra effort, for I had thought that it was a job that I would finish in an hour, and yet the reality turned into 3 hours. I realized that probably by the end of next Spring, I would have the bigger task of actually pulling everything up from that bed, separating all the bulbs, redoing the compost, and replanting it entirely. At least by the time I got to my vegetable beds, that soil turned much easier, and I breathed a sigh of relief. . .

I was covered with dirt, despite my gloves and jeans. My knee was sore from kneeling on the bumpy ground. Of course, the healing scar of my knee hit exactly where a hole in my jeans kept on splitting each time I would squat. My thirst and my sweat couldn't seem to get enough water. But with the task completed, I looked at the new plants now tidy, already looking forward to their blossoms, as well as beginning to savor the small vegetable sprouts in the boxes. "In faithfulness, Thou hast afflicted me. . . "

Really, Lord? I almost had to do a double take as I had read those very words that day. Could I be afflicted, caused pain and suffering, yet with God's faithfulness? The words had resounded in my head, as I tried to deal with the hardened soil. I sensed how one can look somewhat okay on the surface, and yet have a heart that's tied in knots. Seemingly, nothing breaks the bond but pain. The shovel has to dig in deep to breathe new life.

In being broken, the ground does yield more produce. It's another irony of life, that the pruning and breaking up of our hearts does enlarge our views. I think I know now why I have had a heart that seems to be in pieces. It is the only way that it could be enlarged to love more, to care more, to forgive more, to serve more. Yet, it hasn't been broken haphazardly or without regard. There is One who has taken note and has been faithful through it all.

So yes, Lord, in faithfulness You have afflicted me . . .

"I shall run the way of Thy commandments, for Thou wilt enlarge my heart."

(Psalm 119: 32)

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