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She Asked Me a Question

She had just one more question she told the front office staff, as she stopped by to see me on a busy pre-holiday morning. I was in the midst of seeing patients back to back, with hardly any spare minutes in between. I had called her the night before, giving her the results of her breast biopsy. It is never easy to break the news of cancer to anyone, especially at a time of usual joy and blessing, like Christmas. Yet, I knew her anxious heart, and I did not want her to have to wait for an extended time; that for her would certainly feel like an unfriendly eternity.
So that afternoon, I called again. She had picked up the referral for the surgeon, but she was wondering, "what would you do Mary, if you had this diagnosis?" What would I do, if I was told there was a very early breast cancer deep inside my left breast? Would I opt for surgery? Or would I wait? Would I seek alternative treatment? At times like these, I am reminded that I am just like my patients I serve. I have fears and anxieties, for I am just as vulnerable to the same illnesses and diseases that face them. I am only a partner with them on the road of humanity and health. I answered directly that I would choose the surgery, knowing that at this point it could mean a less radical procedure, usually a lumpectomy. Often if the disease process is caught early enough, the treatment is more optimistic and less evasive. But of course, I am not the cancer expert, and there is always the possibility that there is more occurring than what we really know now. But just having told her that I would do the surgery, seemed to give her such relief. I heard it in her voice, as she breathed a sigh of thank you. She then wished me a "Happy New Year," to which I humbly offered her as well, and told her that I would be praying for her too, in these challenging days ahead. I hung up the phone and paused. It never ceases to amaze me how those individuals who are struck with illness or disease, always touch and bless my heart. It's the paradox of life, the wounded are the healers. The ones with much to lose have oh, so much to give.

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