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Adversity Healing

"It's not the adversity, it's how you respond."
(Golf Central, 2/17/19)

 I'm not exactly sure what I was expecting, but it wasn't the words that I heard.  I sat on the crinkly exam paper on the table, as I grabbed my pen and scribbled notes.  I had all my questions poised to review for what I thought would be chemo, the next step in my process of surviving cancer.  But instead the conversation became an u-turn discussion.  Perhaps, chemo would be "over treatment" for essentially no further cancer seen or evidenced by my latest surgery.  Perhaps monitoring me with scans and MRI's, possibly one more diagnostic laparoscopic surgery may be sufficient at this point. Chemo could become a personal choice, there if I wanted to really do it, but yet realizing too that chemo isn't always the final cure. . .  and could be overkill.  Seriously?  Was I really hearing this, could it be that I am being healed from cancer?

I walked out of the office, dumbfounded.  Again, it was another visit in which I left with a completely different plan than what I thought I was to have.  My surgeon was of the same mindset when I walked into his exam room.  He continued to be convinced that all he had seen with my surgery assured him that there was no further cancer.  There would be one more conference for my team of doctors to discuss in one week, to truly verify and validate a plan of care for me.  They wanted to be confident in giving me choices.

Choices.  Life consistently gives choices, or perhaps it is better said that life gives us opportunities and situations to exercise our freedom of choice.  After all, free will is what makes us uniquely human.  Sometimes it is easier to throw our energy at what befalls us instead of what we can do about it.  And let's face it, there are so many things beyond us, so many bumps in our life journey that we don't expect or could even plan for. They just are. But behind them all is God the Creator and Giver of life.  

I review my Cancer Survivor Bible verses and sayings each morning in the quietness of these winter mornings.  Each verse has given me hope and reassuring images in accepting this particular "pause" in life.  Though I have felt that I have faith, I never have felt so bold in that faith to have witnessed personal miracles.  On the contrary, I have embraced adversity and endurance as the outcome of my faith and hope.   But God has surprised me with this unexpected healing.  I am silenced, speechless and even afraid to even speak.  I am overwhelmed with gratitude and humility in receiving His gift of mercy and grace. . . 

"When you pass through the waters, I will be with you. 
And through the rivers, they will not overflow you. 
When you walk through the fire, you will not be scorched, 
Nor will the flame burn you.  
For I am the Lord your God . . .
Since you are precious in My sight, 
Since you are honored and I love you. . . "
(Isaiah 43:2-4)

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