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Winter Rain

Ever feel that the rain will never stop? It's that kind of dark deary Monday morning.  Still in the infancy of this new year, endless tragedy pours down upon us.  Not only my personal, seemingly endless cancer search, but our family is being battered with loved ones hospitalized; near death, with infection attempting to reign supreme.  Loved ones face harsh realities of threatening job closures, while the government rains dump upon us, shutting down the expected pay for daily service.  Our friends battle the cancer storm, even while suffering dire consequences.  There seems to be no shield from the "weather" around us and within us.  Will it ever stop?

You never are prepared or ready for the rain.  Winter teases you with mild days of warmth and gorgeous sunrises and sunsets.  Then it suddenly pours down on you, often more than what you ever imagined.  I probably wasn't entirely surprised to receive the phone call last week that my dear Mom Ruth of 100 years had finally left her human home.  I knew she was rejoicing that very second she exhaled here and inhaled God's eternity.  I had prayed that God would gently take her home, and He did, ending her storm of aged life and frailty.

Ruth had been my sounding board, for 20 plus years.  She rescued me from the anxious storm of first starting out as a nurse practitioner.  She was my lifeboat when I was drowning in the fear of insecurity and inadequacy.  She stayed on even after the waters calmed.  She listened in love, always welcomed me with joy, and reminded me often how grateful she was for our friendship.  The years we shared still had times of winter rains, the loss of her beloved Rollie, the loss of my own Mom and Dad, changes in both of our home environments, and the challenges of living long and well.  Together we walked arm in arm, heart to heart.  Ruth was always there, becoming more than just a friend and mentor.  She filled in the gaps for me by becoming my dear Mom Ruth.  She lived to love and you could not be in her room for 5 minutes or less, before she told you how much you were loved, how thankful she was for you, and how she always was praying for you.  She will be my forever reminder that the greatest gift we can give to one another is to love.  Love with the heart of Jesus, love with joy, and love to the glory of God.

 The sunrise beautifully framed the snowy mountain tops in sharp red and yellow clouds.  It was a majestic picture of God's goodness and grace this morning, before the rain showered down upon us.  I just need to remember that the sun still stands behind this present storm.  God hasn't changed or forgotten us, He will always do well by us, no matter what.  "Irredeemable harm does not befall those who willingly live in the hand of God." (Renovation of the Heart in Daily Practice, Dallas Willard; Jan Johnson, p. 104)  


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