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Not One Good Thing

Here we are in the last few hours of the year 2014.  I have not blogged for months, often citing my own fatigue and fear.  Who really wants to read what I have to say?  What do I really have to say anyway? And yet in the absence I have realized an inner healing of my heart and mind.  There are reasons for pauses in life, when hope can only be found in solitude and silence, when pen and keyboard need to be put aside.  But now I am ready to move ahead, even in spite of my own self doubt. . .

These winter days are especially challenging to get through, as they leave hardly any daylight hours to accomplish much.  In fact, my home seems to be like the land of the midnight sun in Alaska.  Even in spite of all of our windows, darkness and shadows rush throughout all of our rooms.  It's hard to get up, it seems to take so much longer to complete tasks because night is just around the corner.  Even Goldyn is ready to come inside by late afternoon because there are no more sunshine spots to be found outside in the backyard. 

Getting outside into the crisp air and breeze, I find that inner peace again that comes from contentment in being in the beauty of winter, even with its harsh starkness.   I am taking Goldyn for just walks these days as he is healing from an arthritic torn ligament in his left hind leg.  For now, he no longer limps and is back to jumping down off our back block wall.   I like to think that it is a combination of filling him daily with doses of Glucosamine and the healing of his Creator that has made him so much better.  He has lost his extra pounds, and in spite of having some white hair around his ears and toes, is acting like an old frisky pup again.  Healing has arrived.

Enjoying the beauty of multicolored leaves against the background of the morning blue sky, and breathing in deeply the fresh air, I realize that I have not missed one good thing in my life.  Not one good thing has been withheld from me.  That is not to say that everything has been great or perfect in my life.  There have been seasons of sorrow, grief, depression and despair, mixed in with anger and even resentment.  But the good news has been that all the "yuck and struggle of life," has given me a broken, open heart able to give and receive more love than I could ever imagine.  I find myself more accepting of "the whatever," and not stuck with my own devised outcomes.  I am seeking to surprise myself with what crosses my path today. 

I haven't missed out on having a family, one in which love is known.  I have the goodness of family ties on both sides, and time spent with family is always a good thing. Friends are my treasures, and I am rich with forever friendships.  Goodness is shared at mealtimes and I have found a new niche with creative cooking. 

Yes, I am ready to move on . . .                                                                                   




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