Skip to main content

Not One Good Thing

Here we are in the last few hours of the year 2014.  I have not blogged for months, often citing my own fatigue and fear.  Who really wants to read what I have to say?  What do I really have to say anyway? And yet in the absence I have realized an inner healing of my heart and mind.  There are reasons for pauses in life, when hope can only be found in solitude and silence, when pen and keyboard need to be put aside.  But now I am ready to move ahead, even in spite of my own self doubt. . .

These winter days are especially challenging to get through, as they leave hardly any daylight hours to accomplish much.  In fact, my home seems to be like the land of the midnight sun in Alaska.  Even in spite of all of our windows, darkness and shadows rush throughout all of our rooms.  It's hard to get up, it seems to take so much longer to complete tasks because night is just around the corner.  Even Goldyn is ready to come inside by late afternoon because there are no more sunshine spots to be found outside in the backyard. 

Getting outside into the crisp air and breeze, I find that inner peace again that comes from contentment in being in the beauty of winter, even with its harsh starkness.   I am taking Goldyn for just walks these days as he is healing from an arthritic torn ligament in his left hind leg.  For now, he no longer limps and is back to jumping down off our back block wall.   I like to think that it is a combination of filling him daily with doses of Glucosamine and the healing of his Creator that has made him so much better.  He has lost his extra pounds, and in spite of having some white hair around his ears and toes, is acting like an old frisky pup again.  Healing has arrived.

Enjoying the beauty of multicolored leaves against the background of the morning blue sky, and breathing in deeply the fresh air, I realize that I have not missed one good thing in my life.  Not one good thing has been withheld from me.  That is not to say that everything has been great or perfect in my life.  There have been seasons of sorrow, grief, depression and despair, mixed in with anger and even resentment.  But the good news has been that all the "yuck and struggle of life," has given me a broken, open heart able to give and receive more love than I could ever imagine.  I find myself more accepting of "the whatever," and not stuck with my own devised outcomes.  I am seeking to surprise myself with what crosses my path today. 

I haven't missed out on having a family, one in which love is known.  I have the goodness of family ties on both sides, and time spent with family is always a good thing. Friends are my treasures, and I am rich with forever friendships.  Goodness is shared at mealtimes and I have found a new niche with creative cooking. 

Yes, I am ready to move on . . .                                                                                   




Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

But . . .

  I had to pause for a moment, as I began reading the text this early morning.  But they, our fathers, acted arrogantly:  they became stubborn and would not listen to Thy commandments."  (Nehemiah 9:18).    How often do I find myself verbalizing "but? what about? what then? what if? really?" All the phrases that feed doubt and angst into my life are found in that one conjunction.  Memory stands as the faithful argument against it, but when faced with future days all seems easily forgotten.  This verse comes to a people who had returned to their homeland after being ravaged and exiled by foreign powers.  Nehemiah is reminding them of who they are, and especially of their one and only God who has forever been faithful to them despite  their faithlessness and wrongdoing.  He reminds them how God is a God of forgiveness, slow to anger, longsuffering, overflowing with lovingkindness, never forsaking them even when He was totally forgott...
Post a Comment
Read more

Summer Breeze

  Gypsy Rose immediately prances to the back door as she hears her name.  We are ready for our morning walk, which has started later than usual, since I have some of these summer days off.  But it is still early enough to catch the morning breeze.  Walking south, I am refreshed by feeling the gentle wind all around me, it's a cool wrap in contrast to the summer sun.  But it all seems to disappear as I turn the corner and head west, my summer breeze is gone.  I am at a loss for it even as I continue north and east.  It's only as I begin the southern sidewalks back home that I am met with the blissful breeze.  I realize that though I wasn't feeling it for most of my steps, it was there all along, I just had to turn the right direction to get relief . . .  Sometimes, that is how my relationship with God seems.  Yes, I know He is ever near and is with me, but I don't feel that fact.  Sometimes my prayers seem to be in a vacuum, and I'm ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Brief Moments of Grace

  "But now for a brief moment grace has been shown from the Lord our God, to leave us an escaped remnant and to give us a peg in His holy place,  that our God may enlighten our eyes and grant us a  little reviving in our bondage." (Ezra 9:8)   Summer welcomes me today with a cloudy cool morning and a subtle fresh breeze.  The day is probably teasing me with moderate temperatures before it will launch into more robust sunlight and heat.  The scorching temperatures have given an abundance of tomatoes, bush beans and yellow squash in my garden, while tormenting the kale, cilantro, spinach and herbs.  My refreshment is found swimming laps in the pool and teaching or rather reminding Gypsy Rose to stay in her lane while we swim together.  Days seem to run together, slip away too fast, as I often feel locked in a routine of sleep, work, cook, repeat. I know that I need to pause and reflect, because even in that daily ritual are God's brief moments of gr...
Post a Comment
Read more