Skip to main content

My Inertia


I couldn't move, my legs and arms felt like loaded sandbags. My mind and eyes were heavy, I would sit or stretch out on my bed and find sleep invading my daytime hours. I had no energy to fight it off, so I succumbed and became inert. Why are there days when I can have so much strength and then these days of sluggishness that completely wipe out any short-lived gains? Wrapped within my physical exhaustion is a restless mind, not content to settle, but looking for control and peace. Spiritually I am spent, I long for a miracle before my eyes . . .

I am reading this familiar story, and I know where it will eventually go. Elijah was a prophet who alone seemed to hear the occasional voice of God. First to announce a severe famine, then to challenge 850 prophets and a King who didn't believe in Yahweh. It was an impressive showdown on the mountain top when God answered his humble prayer by bringing fire down from heaven to burn up and consume the offering that he had made. Why doesn't God appear in my life like that? Sometimes, even just once, I long for a visible, audible intervention from God Himself. I wish my parents were back here in life so I could ask them how to make sense of my faith and life with an unseen God. I think my times of total inertia find me searching and looking for an answer that will ignite me. . .

Such was my mind, my heart, and my body as I journeyed up my path on my morning bike ride. On those quiet roads, I find myself pouring out my heart before the only Savior that I know. As I pedal, despite my fatigue, I seem to have more strength today, in fact the ride seems to go much easier though my sweat begins to pour. I'm at the peak and surrounded by wild flowers and heavy green brush. The mountains are silent before me. I realize that the next few pages of the Elijah story will wind up with Elijah recognizing that God is not in just the dramatic, but in his very ordinary life, by giving him food, nourishment, rest, protection, and support. That is to be my faith walk too, that God is here in my days, ever before me. Just like He provides for the magnificent mountains before me that survive the wild winds, the vicious fires, the abuse of man and beast, they still stand and produce this bounty of green and flowers before me. God is here right now in my inertia, in my fears, in my pain, and able to free me from its grip . . .

" . . . And a great and strong wind was rending the mountains and breaking in pieces the rocks before the Lord; but the Lord was not in the wind. And after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. And after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire; and after the fire a sound of a gentle blowing . . . What are you doing here, Elijah?" (I Kings 19:11-13)

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Easter Production

Driving down the freeway, the large billboard caught my eye.  "Join us for our Easter Production,"  it beckoned with splashy brown and orange colors.  It made me think, yes, that's what the resurrection of Jesus Christ has been reduced to. . . a man made production.  Even this very day we celebrate, the headlines are all about the celebrities that attract the biggest Easter crowd.  E.G. "Tim Tebow draws thousands to Texas Easter service."  Once again, I had to think . . . who is Easter really about?  What happened to "Jesus draws a crowd?" I have grown tired of celebrity worship.  Yet, it seems in America that is what most Christians are interested in. We flock to mega churches, we drink in videos and studies all geared to keep us simple minded and complacent.  No longer is theology a priority to be taught.  No, it's better to read through the Bible in a year by reading only 5 minutes a day.  Never mind, contemplating or discuss...
Post a Comment
Read more

Summer Breeze

  Gypsy Rose immediately prances to the back door as she hears her name.  We are ready for our morning walk, which has started later than usual, since I have some of these summer days off.  But it is still early enough to catch the morning breeze.  Walking south, I am refreshed by feeling the gentle wind all around me, it's a cool wrap in contrast to the summer sun.  But it all seems to disappear as I turn the corner and head west, my summer breeze is gone.  I am at a loss for it even as I continue north and east.  It's only as I begin the southern sidewalks back home that I am met with the blissful breeze.  I realize that though I wasn't feeling it for most of my steps, it was there all along, I just had to turn the right direction to get relief . . .  Sometimes, that is how my relationship with God seems.  Yes, I know He is ever near and is with me, but I don't feel that fact.  Sometimes my prayers seem to be in a vacuum, and I'm ...
Post a Comment
Read more

I am He

It's another one of those finicky March mornings.  Yesterday was picture perfect with early morning warm sunshine, crisp clear air, and rocky mountain peaks all framed by a royal blue sky.  On the other hand, today is a gray cloudy morning with the brilliance of Spring abruptly dimmed.  It's even a bit too cool and breezy for my morning bike ride, so I'll enjoy this "clock change" Sunday morning here on my favorite couch.  Opening the patio door, invites the sweetest aroma inside.  You are instantly drawn to find the source of what you smell.  Looking to my left, I see the beautiful vine that has climbed up one of Juniper trees, and has another trail of itself winding through a second tree.  It is like looking at a cascading fountain of brilliant blossoms.  I have found that the vine is known as a climbing jasmine.  I have no idea how it has ended up in our yard.  I can't exactly find its original site.  I use to think it was ju...
Post a Comment
Read more