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The Middle

Where does the time go? It's June already, and I have not even been able to do the one thing I had decided the beginning of this year. That was to blog daily. It seems such a simple thing to do, just sit down, take a few moments and write my thoughts on each day. But my days end up gone before I accomplish what I want to or perhaps I give up too easily, and allow other things to fill my days. Maybe that is why I feel so stuck, so in the middle.

Being in the middle is unpleasant, because you are the one who is always squeezed. It can happen at home and in family relationships, especially if you try to be the negotiator. It happens at work when you're the one who buffers management and client. It happens especially now at my midlife age of 50 and beyond. I feel stuck in what I have done and accomplished. I feel like I have hit a ceiling in what I do, and I stand in the middle of "keep doing what I've always done and trying something new." My idleness is also impeded with unknown "ifs" and risks. I realize now as I write that being in the middle had worn me out, it's the source of my unexplained fatigue. Now what?

I think I know the answer which seems quite simple. You move aside, step out, and decide to plot a different path. As John Pierpont Morgan has said, "The first step towards getting somewhere is to decide that you are not going to stay where you are."

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