Mary's Heartbeats

What in the world is Goldyn barking at?  I'm squinting and staring hard across the backyard fence from the same vantage point that Goldyn seems to have.  He is in the zone and has picked out his mark.  Finally, I catch a wavy bushy tail upon the fence rail. Goldyn's barking at a squirrel in our yard!  This is definitely a first!  We have had possums, tree rats and cats, but never have we had a squirrel.  In fact, though there are squirrels further from us at the nearby golf range, they have never been a feature of our neighborhood until now.  That first sighting seemed to be a fluke.  I thought the squirrel must have just got lost, but now I'm finding that he's hanging out and in fact seems to have settled into his new home, even in spite of a barking dog. It's been fun to watch his antics.  He found a fresh orange and so enjoyed eating the juicy fruit.  It seems to be one of his favorites, since I have found a few more half eaten or...

I think my days are best lived in the rain.  There is something peaceful and reassuring about watery liquid falling from the sky.  It leaves such a fresh scent and soothes the driest patch of soil.  The sound is calming and seems to bring a thoughtful hush to my mind and heart.  I find myself looking up into the rain, searching for the clouds of gray.  There is no visible break, the clouds surround my world . . . and with them, comes the rain. I think I have gone through life living under an umbrella.  Perhaps, I have shielded myself from pain and hurt that comes from others' choices.  I have tried to even stretch myself to protect the ones offended.  But the reality is the choice has stood despite my feeble efforts of restraint, calm or help.  I'm viewed enabling and the reason for many failed attempts.  So, it's time to close the umbrella and let the rain just fall . . .  Sometimes, we hang on to hope especially if we have a...

With a great big smile, I opened the door to the UPS man.  Finally, after all these years, a dream of mine was actually going to happen!  All ten boxes were taped, labeled, and ready to go.  I carried the last box out, after the others had been stacked and rolled to his big brown truck.  I walked away with tears of joy and a prayer for the books to safely arrive at their destination.  Mission accomplished!  After my Daddio had died, I decided to take home all of the extra books from his library that were not kept by my brothers.  Dad always told me that his sons would get first pick of his library, but the leftovers were available for me and my husband.  That resulted in many boxes that we brought through the hot desert on the U-Haul truck.  For awhile, my living room and entry hall looked like a cluttered bookstore. There were so much sorting to do!  I never realized the treasure my Dad had in his books.  I just knew even as a ...

Here we are already in the very middle of the first month of the year 2012.  I left last year with peace only to be ushered into unusual heat.  All around, it looks like winter.  Trees stand bare, the grass is patchy brown, and all the roses are pruned to thorny stems.  Yet, the air is warm and at times downright hot.  Only the night time brings a faint reminder of our season with colder winds.  Yep, even nature seems so "topsy turvey".   Throughout these days of sorting out, peace still resides in my heart.  I have once again realized that there will always be things, circumstances, situations, that will challenge me for that peace.  Yes, there are chronic illnesses and conditions, moods and attitudes that often emerge in our lives.  I cannot fix them or make them go away.  I cannot always resolve the situation or the time.  I am recognizing my finiteness.  I am realizing my limits.  I have come to grips wit...

Here we are at the very end of the year.  It races toward us with increasing momentum.  I'm not quite sure why it seems to gain speed as we age.  But it's relentless in its pursuit of ending.  Hope lies in the fact that a new year will quickly follow.  I have realized in these days of journeying through time, that perseverance and endurance is a forward motion. I can't just sit out the rest of my days, there is no place for laziness.  I can't resist or dig my heels in when situations seem to go against me.  No, life is lived by moving forward, in the same direction, pressing on despite how fast the year succumbs.  But in the process of moving on, I need to stand the ground I've gained, build on what I've learned, yet still press on. . .  So with a heart of gratitude, I let go of 2011.  What's done is done, the past forsaken.  But what I've gained is not.  True, my journey came with volatile and turbulent times, days of utmo...

The year is quickly ending, and I find myself contemplating and reflecting.  Reviewing my blog, I ended last year with the thought that it was time to push off into deep water.  Life is not lived in a harbor or upon the shore. It's not avoiding or denying, but rather accepting the depths of trials and hardships.  In this process, I've discovered the buoyancy of God's grace enabling me to live with joy and peace, despite my circumstances.  I have come to know the meaning of being a disciple.  It's not about outcomes, it's not about manipulating and control, it's being . . .  In my ordinary life, I need to only be seeking after Christ . . .  Be silent . . . be still before God . . . Be sensitive for His Spirit for guidance and wisdom . . .  Be obedient to His Word . . .  Be filled with His Love . . .  Be genuinely caring for others . . .  Be a vessel of hope . . .  Be a light . . . Be . . . "The way to liberation...

Goldyn is such a contented creature of the heart.  After arriving in our home about seven years ago, he has found his place.  A former stray and dog pound occupier, he's now at home in our yard, our couch, and at times upon my lap.  Lately, he seems to enjoy the pleasure of being laid out on his back.  He almost beckons anyone passing by to come and scratch his belly.  Peace pervades his mood.   Of course, he didn't start out like that.  He was a feisty, nontrusting pup, who thought he needed to be in charge.  He growled over his bowl of food or treats, unsure if they were really his.  He tugged at a dog leash in a wild way, unsure of how to walk and run with one.  He chewed and bit so many things, I gave up hope at times.  Especially, when my leg calf became the thing he'd try!  Yet, little by little, we seemed to figure each other out.   He came to trust his master.  I learned to understand his nature. ...