Peninnah

 

Too often we gloss over minor characters when we read a story.  Our tendency is to identify with the main character or more precisely the hero or heroine.  We bring that prejudice into our reading of Bible stories too.  I have just started reading the history books of the Old Testament, starting with 1 Samuel.  I had forgotten that it started out with the story of Hannah and her issue of infertility.  Usually, the focus of the story is on Hannah, her desperate prayer, her vow to God, and ultimately her answer to prayer by the birth of her son, Samuel.  Even her prayer of thanksgiving is utilized in Mary's prayer of thanks when her pregnancy of Jesus is confirmed with her cousin Elizabeth. 

But this time, I noticed Peninnah.  She is wife #2 of Elkanah.  Reading the account, of only a few verses, I couldn't help but be reminded of two other sisters who shared a husband, Leah and Rachel.  There was infertility in that family as well, with one sister overly fertile with multiple sons and daughters, and one who was barren for years until finally she conceived.  So it made me wonder if Peninnah and Hannah were sisters.  Was it perhaps a similar situation where according to custom the oldest had to be married off first before the younger? Was Hannah really the one that had been wanted by Elkanah, but he had to follow custom?

Women during that time were at the mercy of men for survival and living.  In fact, in the Mosaic Law there was provision for women widowed, that they would become the wife of another living brother of the deceased.  There also was high priority on bearing children, and if that couldn't be done, there was the penalty of being divorced from your husband. Maybe that was why Elkanah had 2 wives, perhaps he did marry Hannah first but since she was childless for so long, he then married Peninnah to bear his children.  Whatever the circumstance, it probably wasn't the optimal marriage.

So in a couple of verses, you see the marriage dynamics.  Elkanah is fulfilling his duty of going up to Shiloh to give his sacrifice to the Lord.  After he did, he would give portions to his wives, Hannah got double, Peninnah got a single portion.   Elkanah drives a knife into an already open wound.  Peninnah has borne him at least 10 sons, and who knows how many daughters on top of that?  She was probably pregnant year after year to do so much, and for all of that she gets a lesser portion!  Reading her response of provoking Hannah bitterly just to irritate her because of her inability to get pregnant, makes her out to be a villain.  She does this year after year, making Hannah so upset that she's left in tears and refuses to eat.  No more is ever said about Peninnah.

But thinking about Peninnah, I realize lashing out to hurt someone else is often because we are hurting so much ourselves.  In the story of Leah and Rachel, we read that Leah constantly felt unloved, even though she fulfilled her wifely duty of bearing children. That picture seems to be shown in this story, as Hannah gets the double portion from Elkanah. Being unloved is a powerful motivator for anger, hurt, even revenge.  I wonder what conversations took place between Peninnah and Elkanah, did she have a choice in the matter of bearing so many children?  Did she hold out hope that maybe with the birth of the next child, he'll start to love me?  Year after year, baby after baby, it seemed that she never achieved his love, his complete love.  Why? Because year after year she provoked Hannah bitterly.  Resentment festers and takes root throughout our entire body.  Here she is a very productive wife, but in a loveless marriage?  

Women's self worth and dignity back in those days rested only on their merit to procreate.  Procreation was the sign of God's blessing, and yet for Peninnah it may have felt like a curse.  She couldn't help but get pregnant, and where was her reward for all that work?  If we just pass over these few verses, we disregard a hurting soul.  Peninnah may have been more of a victim than a villain.  It reminded me of the importance of listening better to the hearts of those we initially see as evil or sinister.  There is usually a reason for outward behavior that lashes out with bitter spears.  The behavior is just a guard that has built up for years as a way to avoid the inner pain, sorrow, grief, loneliness and hurt a soul may bear. 

We're left without a resolution for this story, this marriage, other than Hannah goes on to bear a son, Samuel.  Peninnah's complete story is left unknown.  I wonder if she ever found love, peace or contentment.  Did her sons and daughters give her joy?  Was she able to fully accept her lot in life at that time? Life is never like we planned.  It seems by the time we have perspective and have gained wisdom, we've missed the opportunities we had in our younger days to share that knowledge.  We realize we could have done so much better.

Yes, as a Mom and wife, I could have been a better listener.  I think I looked too much at the behavior, and didn't pay enough attention to the heart.  Like Peninnah, you can get wrapped up in your own unfulfilled needs and protect yourself by attacking the other.  But the real cause is my own stuff, my insecurity, my inability in being that perfect parent, that ultimate wife, my own loneliness and hurt.  I hold out hope for Peninnah, that somehow even in her despair, God saw and heard her, like He appeared to Hagar when she fled from Sarah.  God is near the brokenhearted, who knows the bitter tears that Peninnah cried? 

I am thankful for the slow reading of this passage, and for the reminders I have had through Peninnah.  I am thankful for forgiveness for my inability to see the other so many times in the past.  May God continue to stir my heart, to open my heart to hear and see those in pain.  May I have a broken, contrite heart that only beats to love. . .   

I Samuel 1: 1-7