Wilderness of Waiting

Waiting. . . most of life is waiting.  I arrived to my doctor's appointment with at least 5 minutes to spare, and even with a semi filled waiting room, I found myself sitting and waiting.  I skimmed through the small stack of magazines, no particular article seemed to interest me.  I paid my co pay, sat down and waited some more.  I was then called to go into the exam room and there I waited.  I read all my emails, looked at the latest news, did a few yoga stretches and waited.  I decided finally to just be quiet, sit and wait.  I couldn't make the process go any faster, I know.  As a Nurse Practitioner with a schedule of patients to see each day, I know the difficulty of trying to give time to each one and still "be on time."  It really is an impossible task, and to be honest I couldn't imagine the difficulty my oncologist faced with his schedule.  I am sure every visit involved such difficult conversations.  We all sit in the wilderness of waiting, like the summer heat, you really have no control.

Waiting. . . for months, looking for a text that would signal that a job had come through.  There are times that seem to hum along, opportunities are there for the taking, even when you least expect it.  But there are times of void and closed doors, brick walls and having to go back to square one.  I found myself affected just as if I was the one trying for the job.  I know the dilemma of starting a new career without experience when every job you look for requires that experience.  Yet, everyone does have start somewhere, every career begins without experience.  But you can't give up, you have to keep searching and applying, building on the experience you did have with your schooling and internship opportunities.  Something has to give, doesn't it?  

Waiting . . .lots of waiting in the days of old.  Moses led his people, a former slave population, into the wilderness.  This was after being enslaved for over 400 years!  Freedom didn't arrive quickly! Although there was certainly much excitement and hope with the escape from Egypt, wilderness life had its challenges.  Provisions would run out, water would be scarce, and enemies would be there to attack you from behind, and all you could do would be to wait.  Wait for God to intervene when Moses called upon Him.  Wait with the promise that one day you would arrive into the promised land, God willing.

Waiting . . .62 and new, I still wait.  But I have seen enough to know that waiting is for my good.  God is continuing to open my heart to newness of life, a life going forward in faith, still growing and open to the "what ifs" in life.  I hardly had any blackberries last year, and this year I am picking at least 1-2 cups per day.  I have a tree that has never had blossoms, and yet this year it has, plus it has produced even a few oval fruits.  My yucca hasn't bloomed since the last time my Mom came for a visit, over 17 years ago, and this year it has.  Yes, even in the wait God is always at work. . .

Waiting . . . always produces joy, even if the outcome is unexpected.  Why? Because the process has developed endurance and perseverance in you, that you thought you never had.  And if you embrace the wait, you soon discover the absolute goodness and mercy of God.