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Life "Unplanned"

I watched one of my favorite movies last night, Marley & Me.  I immediately was drawn into the drama, laughing out loud one minute, and then moved to tears in the next.  I even caught Jasmine watching and smiling at the TV screen.  One theme for sure is the unpredictable reality of life, as things don't always go as planned, even if we start off with a written plan as Jenny does in the movie.  Years later, when asked by her husband John if she is happy that her life didn't go according to her plan, she responds by saying, "it's so much better than what she could ever have imagined."  I too, like Jenny, always had a plan in my head how life would go, but it didn't go according to plan as I thought either . . .

Today is the 10th year of my Dad's death.  Somehow, no matter how old you become, you always think that your parents will be there.  Once they are gone, you find yourself as an adult orphan.  You wonder if you can navigate life without their support and wisdom.  It is ironic in someways, that the older you get life presents challenges and you are often alone in dealing and responding to them.  And yet, looking back I realize that as life  became more colorful and meaningful, family relationships and friendship bonds have become more honest and real.  Gratitude and acceptance for "it is what it is," becomes the norm.  I find myself letting go of what I thought should be, and loving what I have and whom I am . . .  

Here I am 2 weeks later, with my blogging left undone, all because of life's interruptions.   Yet,  I made it through my August memories of loss with a deeper sense of  peace and appreciation.  I realize that it is quite okay to let my words rest and even leave a page or two unfinished. . . . 

Spending these extremely sticky and sizzling nights on my living room floor or flopped on our bed with the fan overhead cutting through the stifling heat, I found myself caught up into the many recent documentaries on Princess Diana.  I realize that I had wanted a fairy tale marriage and prince, but I too had kissed a frog and ended up with a toad, not a prince.  Life never seemed to go according to plan from then on, as I found myself being and living as someone else.  I have to admit I often didn't recognize myself, as I was on a road never traveled.  Were there times of fear, loneliness and sadness?  Absolutely, but the journey didn't end there, only because of a truly divine intervention.  No other explanation satisfies my detour in life other than it gave me deeper faith and hope, along with another opportunity for marriage and family.  

 It's true and said by not only Princess Di, but the tragic gifted singer Whitney Houston.  Money, unbelievable riches, indescribable fame cannot satisfy the deepest longings within your soul.  You can have absolutely everything the world offers, perform on its biggest stages, your pictures on every tea towel and poster, and still have a bottomless hole in your heart.  An insatiable hole that can't be filled with drugs, alcohol, or relationships of affairs.  Sadly, both of these beautiful women exited life unplanned. . . 

So here I am living.  In fact that has been my motto as I started year sixty.  I am "60 living," okay with what comes my way, grateful that I have this day to appreciate.  I roll down the windows, breathing in the unplanned raindrops that are pelting the parched pavement.  I have been given life to live, one moment at time, in the very presence of a loving God and Savior.  I don't have to travel alone, ever, even if the journey takes an unexpected, unplanned twist . . . 
Life
Death of a Princess
(8/31/97)

It's a second
It's a blink
It's a whisper
Just a moment
It's life.

It's here 
It's now 
It's present
Just a snap
It's gone
It's life.

Freely given
Appointed time
Real illusion
Just a taste
It's life.

Only a journey
Only a passage
Only a while
Just a memory
It's life.

Yours Lord
Not mine
Not for long
Just a trial
It's life.

It's hope
It's Your promise
It's my home
It's forever
It's eternal 
life.




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