El Nino Arrival

Finally, rain has come!  2016 announced its first week with pounding rain and surf.  The ground unsure as to what to do with all this water, provides mostly run off and flooding.  People forget how to drive, especially when it comes to slowing down.  No, it seems that their thought is, "if I drive faster, I'll beat the rain!"  The surprise is the cold air that has come with the showers. It's a coldness that bites your nose and settles in the hollow of your bones.  It certainly rebels against our reputation as "warm sunny California."

 I don't have any resolutions, but I am more resolute as I begin this year.  Each day brings  hope, chance and grace, just by being able to awaken to it.  But like the forgetful drivers, I too found myself trying to beat the "rain" of work stress pounding down on my intentions. This time of year brings a mindless activity of "documenting a document," all for the sake of your practice to get a few more dollars to care for sicker patients.  I realized in the midst of this drenching, dreadful activity, that it was robbing the very reason why I am a Nurse Practitioner.  Nursing is the art and science of caring, as well as being able to give that care through healing hands.  The present environment views the patient as an object of words, diagnostic numbers, and ultimately dollar costs, as opposed to seeing that same person, as a life, an opportunity for compassion and care.  And like the relentless rain, this task sticks with you (thanks to electronic medical records) until every "little dot and tittle," is complete.  So there I sat and stewed in my own puddle of boundaries, resolutions, down the drain in one clean sweep. . .

No, I am not living my days like this.  I verbalized my thoughts to my adopted daughter, as we shared Thai food.  I appreciated how she has wanted to know how I "really was."  I found myself catching her up on my week and where I was, as well as verbalizing my thoughts about new ideas for work.  She listened intently, and I found support and encouragement throughout our exchange.  I was once again grateful that she was in my life and had continued to pursue our relationship, even though she had been caught up in grad school and now was trying to find work in her new profession.  Yes, she was like a refreshing Spring rain that revived my beaten down spirit, and encouraged me in my hopes that I had thought may never be.  

El Nino catches you off guard and remains the unpredictable force of nature.  After its initial punch that poured out fury, it seems to have bypassed our region for now.  But though it still is lurking off the coast, I am preparing for its rain.  I don't need to fear it or run from it.  I need to respect its power and force.  But I choose how I respond.  So though I return to my present work at hand, I am once again viewing it as "just rain," the bigger picture will unfold as I kindly care for myself.    

Too much water is always troubling, be it in the rain, high seas or overflowing river banks.  Perhaps that is why majestic rainbows are produced, to remind us always of the God who knows, who sees, who cares, who calms our troubled waters, who gives us a more courageous heart and faith. . .