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95

I'm on my way to visit Mom Ruth this Sunday afternoon.  It's an activity I have done with consistency over this past year.  Since she has become more frail and requires the care of twenty four hour nursing supervision, I have made a point to be there every Sunday.  Now, she readily looks forward to Sunday, because "Mary is coming to see me."  But this is a special day as we are going to celebrate her 95th birthday.  She is surprised as we all are that she is still here to celebrate this day with us.  After all, who would think that a woman who survived treatment for TB in a sanatorium, many years ago, and now deals with dementia, would still be living?  Even she asks that question, as she often tells me that she prays "for Jesus take her home," and often feels that "she is dying right now." Yes, her thoughts get muddled at times, as she tries to still understand God's love for her in spite of her doubts and "not being good enough."  She often asks "is God trying to punish me in these last days of my life?"  Unfortunately, her surroundings of being confined to a small room reinforce and exaggerate her fears, but today she greets me with a joyful smile.  Why?  Because we are going out to her favorite restaurant, the Black Angus . . .

A wave of dejavu surrounds me, as I get her ready to go.  Dressed in a lovely lavender pastel outfit, her white hair, and gold rimmed glasses remind me of my own Mom.  She too always looked forward to my company, and enjoyed special outings with just me.  Mom Ruth becomes a hospitality hostess as she pushes her walker down the hall.  She radiates a full smile as she passes other residents in their wheelchairs, announcing to them that "we are going out to celebrate her birthday!"

Arriving at the restaurant, she seems to have new energy.  She even remembers where to go once inside and makes her way up the hall.  She strikes up a joyful conversation with our waitress, and they begin to exchange stories about not only Mom Ruth's special day, but about the waitress's grandmother.  Of course we order her favorite---a baked potato, fillet Mignon, salad, rolls and hot coffee.  She has a great appetite, even outdoing my own.  I am so grateful to be here with her, thinking to myself, it really is not much to make ones birthday, happy.  Just being with one another is the best gift, and I am so thankful right then that God in his mercy knew almost 20 years ago, when I first met Ruth, that it was a friendship that would be sustaining, enduring and important to both of us.  Mom Ruth never had any children of her own, but has had hundreds who have adopted her as Mom because of her mentoring and teaching.  Yet, she still tells me, that I am "the daughter."  It's our secret between us, as she has tells me "that if she ever would have had a daughter, I would be the one."  Yes, we have always been able to listen to each others hearts. . .

Dessert arrives as an over-sized warm chocolate chip cookie with ice cream.  She delights in being sung to by the Black Angus staff and digs right into the treat! It seems that a cookie never tasted better as it quickly disappears!  Now contentedly full, we make our way out to the car.  Mom Ruth is full of thanks and expresses gratitude for such a celebration.  Back in her room, she unwraps the gift I brought. She raves about the black polka dotted PJ's with pink bows and scallops along the edges, and encourages me to show them off to her room mate too.  The evening is becoming a memory as I tell her good bye. But it was time spent well, with each other, and of course, I'll be back next Sunday.

95 years, what a blessing and evidence of God's goodness and grace to us, in spite of ourselves.  I knew that I would definitely blog about this evening, but driving down the street, my head was flooded with a myriad of thoughts and emotions.  Will I reach the grand age of 95?  Will I have a "daughter" take me out, even when I may be so vulnerable and weak?  What does it mean to live out "your golden years?"

No, I can't answer one of those questions, all I know is now.  For now, I can be the one that doesn't forget, but remembers the treasure in one another, no matter how many years come and go.  Taking time, being intentional brings priceless rewards--e.g joy, contentment, peace, and love.  I guess that is the biggest gift I have had from Mom Ruth, her ever faithful unconditional love.  And even 95 isn't a large enough number to contain the love that God has granted us in the friendship of Mom and daughter . . .


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