Daddio's Lap

Today marks the fifth anniversary of my Daddio's passage from this life.  His death came one week earlier than my Mother who had passed on five years before he did.  It seems strange to live these days without them, somehow you think your parents are always going to be there.  I still find myself yearning for at least one more conversation with them.  I often recognize in myself some of their behaviors, like eating breakfast cereal with a giant spoon or having a closet full of dresses and shoes that I've had for at least 20 years.  But one of the best things they impressed on me was having joy with family.  Daddio was  especially content and happy when surrounded by his family.  He often would remark how blessed he was and how he completely loved being with his family.  His eyes would sparkle and he'd have the biggest wide tooth grin whenever he would tell us that, and it was often enough that you never forgot that fact. . . 

So I became intentional this summer.  I wanted to go back to the very place of my Dad's beginning.  I wanted to journey to my parents' grave site, at least one more time.  It had to be one of the hottest days, as I begun my walk from the quaint Inn that we were staying at.  There is nothing like a Midwest summer day, but this day was not only humid but 102 degrees as well!  I didn't seem to mind as I made my way through the streets of the Washington homes.  There was something peaceful with the hot air and occasional puff of breeze.  I wasn't exactly sure of the way, but knew there was a tree nearby that marked their graves.  

Before, I got to their area, I trudged through the older cemetery, looking for my great grandparents.  After all these years, I finally put some of my family history together.  My Dad's middle name Christian came from his grandfather's name.  Great grandfather Christian lost his first wife and young daughters.  I paused and wondered what took the life of his wife at age 35 years, and those daughters that died at the ages of 6 and 3?  I wish I would have asked Dad or maybe he had told me when I wasn't very good at paying attention to family history facts.  Christian married again and raised his son (my grandfather) and remaining two daughters.  Aw, I finally put it together when Dad talked about his Aunt Jo (Josephine) and Aunt Nette (Jeanette).  I guess it's hard when you're a kid to figure out family that aren't there anymore, especially when all you associate with them is a name.  But walking along the silence of the graves, I had a sense that each marked a vibrant life, and I wished I would have known them.  The historical society of Washington, Illinois, describes my great-grandfather as a respected man of the community, an alderman for the town, a good farmer and citizen.   

Staring down at the granite blocks, it's hard to realize that your family foundation has all passed on.  My grandparents, my Aunt, and my parents all are silent blocks.  But I had walked all this way for one more chance to sit upon my father's lap.  The stone had been baking in the sun, but sitting there I found myself engulfed in tears, in thoughts, and prayers.  So many things have happened since we last had talked, so much of life I didn't always understand or get.  I often wonder if I ever will. . .

As I sat in the afternoon quiet and heat, I was thankful that my parents were not really there, that they were resting now with their Savior.  They had run their course of life quite well, and now it was up to me to do the same.  They had shown me love lived out. . .

A furry squirrel broke my silence as he scrambled for something to eat in the nearby tree.  A small life among the dead, busy with the task of living.  Yes, I am to go my way in the land of the living.  Daddio would be pleased that his daughter has the some of the same loves he did.  Our loved ones are the greatest blessings God has given us.  Never let anything or anybody stand in the way of relationships.  Take time, allow those interruptions, listen to one another, bear one an other's burden, and love with grace . . .  

"And God raised Him [Jesus]up again, putting an end to the agony of death, since it was impossible for Him to be held in its power." 

                                                (Acts 2:24)

AMEN!