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If Only

If only. . . it just isn't right.  It's not like He didn't get the message.  They had made a point to get word quickly to the Master, the Healer.  Their brother Lazarus was sick, death was inevitable if no help arrived.  Surely, He would come or even just say the word.  All this time, they had believed and followed Him.  He was a regular house guest for them, He hung out with them, He fit right in like family. . . He would certainly come.  They knew His compassion and care, they knew His love, surely He would be there now for them.  They didn't doubt their beliefs, this had to be the Promised One!

If only . . . that's all that Martha could sputter out, as she saw Him finally walking up the road.  "If only, You would have been here, my brother wouldn't have died . . ." she cried to Jesus.  Where were you?  Didn't you get our message? What took you so long?  Her mind must have raced with so many other questions and accusations.  Yet, the haunting thought remained . . . if only.

If only . . . even the other sister wondered too.  Mary came and fell at the feet of Jesus, but her heart grieved and broken was only asking "if You had been here, my brother wouldn't have died". . . if only.

If only I had listened better to my parents when I was growing up.  If only I had made better choices in my young adult years.  If only I had been a better parent to my son, if only I had been a stay at home Mom and didn't have to work so much.  If only I had more time to spend with family and friends.  If only I was thinner and smarter.  If only I had a different practice.  If only I was a better Nurse Practitioner.  If only I could have one more conversation with Mom and Daddio.  If only. . . the list goes on.

My reality is not God's reality.  I can view my life as just a series of "if only's," but God views it as a series of practicing faith in Him.  Giving up my reality to trust Him in all that I experience and that it is not for "death, but for the glory of God, that the Son of God may be glorified by it." (John 11:4)  I have been created and made for this time to glorify God and demonstrate His praise, that's all.  "If only's" are not really part of the equation, they don't matter, for I can never take back even one second of life in the past. 


So do I hang on to my "if only's" or do I accept the "if's" that create in me my faith?  Jesus told the grieving sisters, "I am the resurrection and the life; he who believes in Me shall live even if he  dies. . . if you ask Me anything in My name, I will do it. . if you love Me, you will keep my commandments, if you abide in Me and My words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. . . " (John 11-15)


"With this background of confusion and incomplete faith, the action of Jesus at the tomb of Lazarus was all the more convincing.  To the bewildered disciples and to the mourning sisters He had presented Himself as the resurrection and the life, and had challenged them to believe in Him against all appearances.  Now He must prove His power. Could He do it?"  (M.C. Tenney, p. 175)  

If only . . . opportunities put before me to glorify my Lord . . . if



  

   


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