Skip to main content

My First Blog

It's the start of a new year, almost. And after being a hidden writer at heart, I have decided it is time to turn the page and put my thoughts, my heartbeats, out there. What do I have to lose? Yet, in doing so, I feel somewhat anxious, yet excited. Maybe I really have something to say. . . maybe someone will actually read this and find encouragement.

I have had a wonderful Christmas season, actually starting with our Thanksgiving celebration. There is nothing like a family gathering, with savory food, and much laughter, and delectable conversation. This year as we planned for our first Brown Family golf tournament, we couldn't help but talk about our fallen golf hero and and inspiration. I especially had been a #1 Tiger Woods fan; from the time he had started, I became glued to the golf tournaments he played in. I was so jazzed to actually witness his play at Torrey Pines, and stand in the crowd in which there was barely breathing room, just to get a "close-up" of him. I actually believed I was partaking in history, as there would never be another Tiger Woods. I even used his focus and apparent discipline as an example for my Sunday School lessons I taught. I bought into his clean and seemingly perfect image, he was not like other athletes that seemed to be so easily swallowed up in greed, pride, and immorality. Until that day, waking up at 5:30 AM to the radio talk show, listening for the first time, that Tiger apparently had some indiscretions. . . Could it really be?
Each day the news became more disgusting, I didn't even want to watch or hear anymore about it. Within ten days, I realized I would never wear my TW baseball caps again, and his "Perfect Drive Poster" hanging over my laundry room would come down. Now I wouldn't be Tiger # 2 on the golf course, I would reluctantly have to seek another player, probably good'ol Phil.

So from that disappointment, I wrote a poem for my husband, in celebration of our 23rd wedding anniversary. I realized anew that the greatest gift one can give in a relationship is faithfulness; faithfulness and endurance throughout the pages of life. Fidelity is so easily talked about, but so difficult to live . . .



FIDELITY

Such a short word so easily spoken, yet so tragically lived.

It is very often challenged and usually fails miserably in trying to succeed.

Time is on its side as history repeats and records the misfortunes that it causes,

over and over again.

King David with Bathsheba is just one of ancient times, but he was by no means the first, nor will he be the last, as to this day, heartbreak soars.

It’s an English prince unfaithful to his youthful princess Di,

It’s an intelligent Rhodes Scholar President disloyal to his diplomatic wife.

It’s even TV Christian pastors and evangelical leaders who dabble until caught in extramarital affairs,

And now it’s a golfing legend-to-be who has let down his wife and family.

What is it about men? I do not have the answer.

What is it about women?

There always seems to be a woman in the waiting,

Eager and available to tempt, to steal, to cheat

and then to tell the world of all forbidden quests.

What does it say about us who seem to relish in the story,

in the pain of families broken?

Fidelity is such a short word so easily spoken, yet so tragically lived.

I don’t have any of the answers to my questions, Lord,

I leave them on this page with you.

But I humbly thank you for my faithful husband to me.

I am sure that there are women available to him---

at work, on newsstands, and TV giant screens.

Yet he has chosen to come home to me

night after night, day after day, year after year.

Already 23 years is a time of living longer with him than with my own birth family, and sadly, there have been times I have taken his fidelity for granted,

Forgive me, Lord.

May I always cherish this precious gift he has given to me and to our family.

If that would be his only virtue, let me receive it always with full appreciation, thankfulness, and gratitude.

I thank you Lord that you have chosen him

to give it and live it for me. . .

Fidelity.


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

But . . .

  I had to pause for a moment, as I began reading the text this early morning.  But they, our fathers, acted arrogantly:  they became stubborn and would not listen to Thy commandments."  (Nehemiah 9:18).    How often do I find myself verbalizing "but? what about? what then? what if? really?" All the phrases that feed doubt and angst into my life are found in that one conjunction.  Memory stands as the faithful argument against it, but when faced with future days all seems easily forgotten.  This verse comes to a people who had returned to their homeland after being ravaged and exiled by foreign powers.  Nehemiah is reminding them of who they are, and especially of their one and only God who has forever been faithful to them despite  their faithlessness and wrongdoing.  He reminds them how God is a God of forgiveness, slow to anger, longsuffering, overflowing with lovingkindness, never forsaking them even when He was totally forgott...
Post a Comment
Read more

Summer Breeze

  Gypsy Rose immediately prances to the back door as she hears her name.  We are ready for our morning walk, which has started later than usual, since I have some of these summer days off.  But it is still early enough to catch the morning breeze.  Walking south, I am refreshed by feeling the gentle wind all around me, it's a cool wrap in contrast to the summer sun.  But it all seems to disappear as I turn the corner and head west, my summer breeze is gone.  I am at a loss for it even as I continue north and east.  It's only as I begin the southern sidewalks back home that I am met with the blissful breeze.  I realize that though I wasn't feeling it for most of my steps, it was there all along, I just had to turn the right direction to get relief . . .  Sometimes, that is how my relationship with God seems.  Yes, I know He is ever near and is with me, but I don't feel that fact.  Sometimes my prayers seem to be in a vacuum, and I'm ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Brief Moments of Grace

  "But now for a brief moment grace has been shown from the Lord our God, to leave us an escaped remnant and to give us a peg in His holy place,  that our God may enlighten our eyes and grant us a  little reviving in our bondage." (Ezra 9:8)   Summer welcomes me today with a cloudy cool morning and a subtle fresh breeze.  The day is probably teasing me with moderate temperatures before it will launch into more robust sunlight and heat.  The scorching temperatures have given an abundance of tomatoes, bush beans and yellow squash in my garden, while tormenting the kale, cilantro, spinach and herbs.  My refreshment is found swimming laps in the pool and teaching or rather reminding Gypsy Rose to stay in her lane while we swim together.  Days seem to run together, slip away too fast, as I often feel locked in a routine of sleep, work, cook, repeat. I know that I need to pause and reflect, because even in that daily ritual are God's brief moments of gr...
Post a Comment
Read more