Mary's Heartbeats

  The thunder resounded with a loud clap! Certainly, it came as an afternoon surprise.  The expected rain seemed less than what was forecasted, but with the thunder came a bucket of heavy raindrops splashing against my kitchen window.  I wanted to take it all in, the fresh aroma of falling rain and the beauty of water drops hitting the leaves of my nasturtium and petunia hanging baskets.  Unfortunately, the rain cloud quickly fled, running away into the eastern sky.  But then the sun made its way onto the scene, and I was drawn to a thick band of rainbow colors shining up at me.  The western sky was magnificently orange, completely bound up tight with that solo color scheme.  I went outside to catch it all before it would disappear.  Creation again was causing me to pause in awe and wonder. . . Awe is that reverential wonder, that even includes fear and respect.  It is only a 3 letter word, but it takes bigger and grander words to define it....

  I had to pause for a moment, as I began reading the text this early morning.  But they, our fathers, acted arrogantly:  they became stubborn and would not listen to Thy commandments."  (Nehemiah 9:18).    How often do I find myself verbalizing "but? what about? what then? what if? really?" All the phrases that feed doubt and angst into my life are found in that one conjunction.  Memory stands as the faithful argument against it, but when faced with future days all seems easily forgotten.  This verse comes to a people who had returned to their homeland after being ravaged and exiled by foreign powers.  Nehemiah is reminding them of who they are, and especially of their one and only God who has forever been faithful to them despite  their faithlessness and wrongdoing.  He reminds them how God is a God of forgiveness, slow to anger, longsuffering, overflowing with lovingkindness, never forsaking them even when He was totally forgott...

  Gypsy Rose immediately prances to the back door as she hears her name.  We are ready for our morning walk, which has started later than usual, since I have some of these summer days off.  But it is still early enough to catch the morning breeze.  Walking south, I am refreshed by feeling the gentle wind all around me, it's a cool wrap in contrast to the summer sun.  But it all seems to disappear as I turn the corner and head west, my summer breeze is gone.  I am at a loss for it even as I continue north and east.  It's only as I begin the southern sidewalks back home that I am met with the blissful breeze.  I realize that though I wasn't feeling it for most of my steps, it was there all along, I just had to turn the right direction to get relief . . .  Sometimes, that is how my relationship with God seems.  Yes, I know He is ever near and is with me, but I don't feel that fact.  Sometimes my prayers seem to be in a vacuum, and I'm ...

  "But now for a brief moment grace has been shown from the Lord our God, to leave us an escaped remnant and to give us a peg in His holy place,  that our God may enlighten our eyes and grant us a  little reviving in our bondage." (Ezra 9:8)   Summer welcomes me today with a cloudy cool morning and a subtle fresh breeze.  The day is probably teasing me with moderate temperatures before it will launch into more robust sunlight and heat.  The scorching temperatures have given an abundance of tomatoes, bush beans and yellow squash in my garden, while tormenting the kale, cilantro, spinach and herbs.  My refreshment is found swimming laps in the pool and teaching or rather reminding Gypsy Rose to stay in her lane while we swim together.  Days seem to run together, slip away too fast, as I often feel locked in a routine of sleep, work, cook, repeat. I know that I need to pause and reflect, because even in that daily ritual are God's brief moments of gr...

  Scrolling through the articles on this blog, I am flooded with memories and passages.  Yes, I don't really generate traffic for my writing, but it is a record of my thoughts and feelings for the past 14 years.  What was I thinking in documenting so much? Perhaps, I really am a hidden writer at heart.  Hidden is the best term for me to use, as I frequently get waves of self doubt when I think that someone would actually read my posts and may even enjoy what I have to say . . . O well, here I ago again, putting myself out there! 2023 has been quite a year, starting with unbelievable cold winter weather and record snowfall here in our mountains of southern California.  It actually snowed in Alta Loma! And the snow that is still present even now in late May has graced our foothills and peaks with beautiful wild flowers, abundant water falls, and raging rivers.  Every week of hiking brings new images of beauty that weren't there a week ago.  "Green therap...

      Verna was always an unusual name to me, and when I remember her now, her name perfectly fits.   After having my brothers, I came along to her when she was 44 years old.   To me she was the 50’s Mom icon, she wore a crisp dress and apron, with nylon stockings and cinnamon brown shoes everyday as she went about her household duties of cooking, cleaning and washing.   Meals were always homecooked, rarely did we ever go out to a restaurant or for a MacDonald’s burger.     As a pastor’s wife, she was also the gifted pianist.   She chose to sit on the piano bench with a hymnal book underneath her to raise her up.     She could easily play by ear, and change keys of any song or hymn.   She was a proficient typist, and worked part time the year my Dad went to grad school.   She typed his master’s thesis, and many years later did his doctorate thesis as well.     I never saw her in a pair of pants until she went...