Mary's Heartbeats

34 years ago, at the age of 29, I married GQ on a snowy day in a little wedding chapel in Reno, Nevada.  Many thought our marriage wouldn't last---a second marriage for both of us.  But here we are, seven dogs later, a wonderful son and daughter-in-law, a house we've lived in for the past 26 years; differences abound, but still faithfully loving one another when all is said and done. I don't always get it, Lord, but indeed You have exceeded all my expectations these past 34 years.  What will the next 34 bring?  And here I sit with a "Kay Jeweler" package before me this early morning.  A surprise for me as extravagant gifts have not been our thing.  GQ is often a man of few words---but deep within him is a heart of solid gold. Thank you Lord for being so good to me these 34 years!! I'm recalling one of my mother's questions, she asked me long ago.  "Is he good to you, Mary?"  And I responded, "Yes, Mom, He's good to me," with full as...

What a mess! The blue toilet water ran like a cascading waterfall over the sides of the white porcelain seat. I ran to grab towels to sop up the mess. The bad news was that earlier that day the washing machine had busted out its "shut off valve" for filling up the bin. That too ended up being a flood zone, but now I definitely needed its services to wash up these disgusting towels. I would have to figure out some way to make it work. Then comes the news that a coworker has tested positive for the dreaded COVID19 virus. Thanksgiving plans were definitely in question. In just a few short hours, life again took an unexpected turn! Thanksgiving has held a very special meaning to me, especially over these past 2 years, as it marks the anniversary when I was first told of my cancer.  God has continued to show grace and mercy to me, and I am only here to be an image of that special favor.  I still do not fully comprehend the why and how that has been, but I  am deeply gra...

What is it like to give words and warnings that are mocked and scoffed at?  What is it like when your message is filled with the most unpopular words?  What is it like to spend your whole life speaking words that no one wants to hear? Jeremiah was a prophet sent by God with his only mission in life to speak God's Word to a people who willfully would not accept anything that he said.  In fact, they became so enraged with what he had to say that they planned to kill him.  Ironically, the very people that show the most distaste for him were the religious leaders and priests.  The book of Jeremiah, chapter 26, plainly recalls this story.  Jeremiah stands in the Lord's house, and confronts the people and priests with God's message.  The message is that you the people have not been listening to God's Word, you haven't followed in the way of God's law and you haven't listened to the many prophets that have been sent to you again and again.  So reality is...

  On June 4th, 2020 a little ball of puppy fur was born into the Upland City Shelter.  Evidently, her mother, a black German Shepherd, had found her way there at an earlier time.  She was posted on their website in about 8 weeks from the date of her birth, and that was when I first saw "Monica."  Only known as female puppy #3, born into this litter.  I called that Sunday morning about an hour after the Shelter opened up, was already prepared to hear that I wouldn't be able to even view these puppies.  This is because during our time of the COVID19 Quarantine, you can't just show up at a shelter to view or see a dog.  You must call and make an appointment, and usually puppies are the first to go and already have a "full" list of those want to be owners, like me.  So, I called with passive hope.   Of course, the first puppy girl had a full list, the second one had 2 people in front of me, I would be the third.  No, I wouldn't take tha...

I suppose that during this time of the COVID19 pandemic I should be blogging everyday.  Certainly, there is much to ponder and write about.  I am constantly reminded that I am living in "unprecedented times," days that haven't been seen for at least a century or more.  I have reminded myself that actually my parents endured the same type of days.  They were born in 1913 and 1915, so were little kids during the Spanish Flu; they endured the World War times, as well as the Great Depression.  Perhaps those times did shape them in being frugal, hardy and enduring.  Life wasn't taken lightly, but appreciated.  Joy was having one another and being together.  Perhaps that is one of the lessons I am to take from this time. . . Masks are not about us.  Masks aren't protecting us or rather me.  A mask is a statement that I care about others.  I care about them in such a way that I do not not want to give a virus, (so microscopic that I cannot...

My eye caught a small round mound stuck upon a branch.  Looking closer, I found indeed it was the start of a hummingbird nest.  And yes, I now had the mother hummingbird buzzing around my head, reminding me that I was in her space.  I have been able to witness at least 3 other hummingbird families come to life, and I was always mesmerized by these "tiny vulnerabilities" becoming resilient birds in only a matter of five to six weeks.  The nest was right out my patio door, and I had the best view to watch them daily.  I was smiling. I had a hunch that babies would be coming soon, because our hummingbird feeder had been especially sucked dry only a few weeks earlier.  One day I found at least 4 hummingbirds at one time feeding, which is highly unusual because most times they come one at a time and don't seem to want to share the space.  If they would share, it was two only at a the bar and of course on opposite sides.  I was filling that feeder at le...

" O Lord my God, if I have done this, If there is injustice in my hands, If I have rewarded evil to my friend, Or have plundered him who without cause was my adversary, Let the enemy pursue my soul and overtake it; And let him trample my life down to the ground, And lay my glory in the dust." (Selah) Psalm 7:3-5 I started a new habit this past week, after hearing a challenge from one of my favorite Podcasts.  It was to just read a Psalm a day.  Just read it.  Take it at face value.  No need to ponder it or deeply study it.  Today, I read Psalm 7, and the words became my prayer.  I am convicted of my complicity, my moderateness, my willingness, my white privilege to look the other way.  My heart is to hear, to listen and to repent . . .so that I live in such a way that not only is love evident in my actions but justice reigns as well. 2020 will be a year never forgotten.  There is always a bigger picture than what is evident before us.  Facing...

Steal away my heart . . . Lord, My Jazzy girl is gone. She came  so unexpectedly, so suddenly And brought me so much joy. I sense her presence still around me. I see her shadows near my bed, or on the leather couch.  I see her sleeping soundly on her pillow  in our family room. I hug her empty blankets, breathing in her furry scent,  I almost feel like I am hugging her when I shut my eyes. I knew she was an older dog, But she captured me with so much love, That I thought we'd had finally beat the reality of time.  Steal away my heart  . . . Lord, My Jazzy girl is gone. Why am I so enamored with Your canine creatures? Each one has grabbed and held my heart. Jasmine followed like the others,  Faithful, loyal and true. She held me in my times of fear and darkness, She welcomed my arms around her as I buried myself in her neck. She greeted every day with energy for walks, And joyou...

      You Lord are my Shepherd, the good Keeper of my soul. The only One who always provides my good. You give me peace in Your abundance. In stillness I find rest in You. You alone nourish healing in my inner being.  You point me in the right direction, for You have already walked before me. I don't need to be afraid. Why?  Because I am not alone, You are ever here, ever present, now with me.   You alone are my Protector, El Shaddai , my God Almighty,   And I take comfort in that fact. I find nourishment in Your provision,  Even when I'm surrounded by those who wish me harm. You soothe my inner  wounds and hurts. My transformation from You saturates my soul, And pulses forth from every pore of my being. Certainly, without a doubt, Your goodness and mercy is ever with me, Every moment of my life. Why?  For I am eternally Yours!    

I couldn't see out the kitchen window as a very thick fog filled in the spaces of our backyard. Stepping out into it with Jazzy girl at my side, the fog weighed heavy.  The ground was damp most likely from the foggy mist.  I haven't seen fog like this for such a very long time.  I wondered as I walked if this was what it was like when the children of Israel were surrounded by the Pillar of Cloud by day?  I breathed in the quietness and imagined that indeed God does surround me, His presence ever with me.  I realized that the fog completely hid my familiar environment.  I realized that the lesson in the fog was to trust.  Trust God, knowing that His presence is ever with me, knowing that I don't need to see ahead or have my path all planned out.  He knows those mountains hidden from my sight, He knows potential dangers of approaching cars or wandering coyotes.  I just need to walk on, going forward in trust . . .  Standing and singing...