Mary's Heartbeats

Digging deep down into the centuries of Jewish history, you will find the birth of Ichabod.  He was the grandchild of Eli the priest who is more well known for his mentoring of the boy Samuel, who would then become a great judge and prophet for the people of Israel.  But the sons of Eli were worthless fellows and didn't know God or even follow in His ways, although they did perform as priests.  Consequently, the day of reckoning arrived, and both sons, Hophni and Phinehas were killed by the enemy Philistines. The ark of the co venant of God was captured as well, and without it, the very symbol of God Himself, the people were sure to be do omed.  When this news is told to Eli, he f al ls over backwards and br ea k s his neck "for he was old and heavy." (I Samuel 4:18)  The tragedy continue s for when Phinehas' wife hear s the news of her husband's and father-in-law's death, she immediately goes into labor, giving birth to a son.  But instead of mate...

Questions seem to incessantly swarm through my head.  I find myself even waking up in the middle of the night, wondering and pondering.  I like to tell myself that there used to be a time when common sense and reason was readily available.   But maybe not.  Perhaps, we always have deceived ourselves with our self importance and bias.  Where are the voices of wisdom and discretion?  Where are they? I am aghast of our current political and religious state.  I am nauseated, disgusted, and repulsed by the justification that some evangelical leaders spew forth in defense of the most unchristian presidential nominee ever.  I am ashamed that as Christians they feel they must support someone like this, so that hopefully they will get their power and platform in exchange.  When or where, ever has there been precedent in God's Word, that in order to get the "righteous way," you support the evil one?   Listening or reading their justi...

I was invited to come to her house on Saturday morning.  Pulling up my car to park under the purple Jacaranda blossoms in front of her home, I still felt my heart of anguish and defeat.  Yes, here I was reaching out to an older woman I had always wanted to get know better.  I was seeking a mentor in my time of self doubt, loneliness and despair, my first year of being in the role of a Nurse Practitioner.  A crisis had fractured my unrealistic expectations and goals, and I needed someone to completely hear me out.  That day,  she graciously extended her hand, her ears and time for me.  She invited me into her story. Her story was always to write.  She often explained how she had told God, "all she had was the pen in her hand," but that was enough for Him to use to make her an author of prayer poems.  Poems that spoke from the heart, honest and genuine, humorous and uplifting, encouraging and always full of hope.  I had been drawn t...

It was a casual comment and request.   After enjoying a Saturday brunch with my girlfriend, we decided to stop by the nearby animal shelter and "just look" at dogs.  I still felt that it was a bit soon to get another dog, as I was unsure if I had given myself enough time to heal from the hurting loss of Goldyn.  It took a few tries for us to even find the shelter, as it had a new location from when we adopted Goldy 12 years ago.  But with persistence, we found it and were definitely surprised and pleased with how the new shelter was so much larger and nicer than before.  Of course, there were cute puppies, and various other dogs that caught my eye, but what was I looking for? Was I really looking or just going through the motions?  I wasn't sure . . .  Going through the last section of bigger dogs, there at the end of the line was a German Shepherd type.  Her cage had no information on it, she just had big paws, big ears, and looked as if...

Hungry and very ready for lunch, yet knowing it was time to pray, Peter went up to the housetop to do so.  Being a devout Jew, he continued his habit of prayer three times daily, even though he now pursued his faith by being a follower of Jesus, his risen Lord.  He fell into a strange dream, one in which the sky opened and a great sheet unrolled before him.  Creatures of all kinds,animals,reptiles, and birds appeared upon this backdrop. Then to his horror, a voice told Peter, "Get up, kill and eat!"  Peter responds "No way Lord! I have never eaten anything unholy or unclean!"  Don't you know Lord, I am a good Jew?  But the voice gave a puzzling answer, "What God has cleansed, no longer consider unholy,"(Acts 10:15).  As if once was not enough, this dream repeated itself three times, and Peter awoke perplexed, and probably without his appetite. . .  Revival is coming to our church or at least three special services are being held for such....

"Oh death, where is your sting?" I am awakened with the music and the lyrical phrase in my head.  Yes, death stings, wounds and pains me.  It always will.  It's never right, it goes against the very fact of life.  It seems to creep in upon you and often unrighteously snatches away the innocent, the one least expecting it.  It leaves us behind in sorrow and with a host of unanswered, unexplainable questions.  The obvious question is why?  Why death, why now, why them? The answers never really satisfy, no matter how we attempt to provide rational consolation.  My dear friend has just found out her baby of 9 weeks no longer has a heartbeat, so she awaits the miscarriage.  Only guesses and conjecture give reason for the cause, it comes down to accepting the pregnancy wasn't made to be viable from the start and this is nature's way of halting life.  Perhaps all that is true, but the sting wounds deep . . . Thumbing through old photo b...

Sliding open the backyard door, I am greeted with such strange silence. The plants and trees still host the birds, the lizards, and the squirrels, but the one who patrolled it is only in my mind. His evidence is all around me, as I work my way around the yard, completing my watering chore.  I find his favorite shade spots he often hid in just to avoid the daytime heat.  I know exactly where he buried that lamb chop bone to enjoy at a later date, and the ba re faced tennis balls are stuck along the edge of the patio deck. The pool is calm, no ripples from a wading, thirsty dog. Even the stucco on our home is dry with brown faded streaks from the numerous times he used it as a wringer for his coat. No barks are heard for the Friday garbage collectors or for the dog at the corner fence. My Goldilocks has been laid to rest. My loyal and loving Rottie mix is gone after almost 12 years of family life with us.  I don't know what it is about dogs that have always capt...

Believe it or not?  Yes, we actually are having April showers.  It's a quiet rain that has hung around for the past 3-4 days.  Often, you are not sure if it's there until you are outside in it, because it doesn't pour forth in a relentless pounding which is much more typical for Southern California rain.  But it seems to be doing the job, as the ground around us has grown greener and more colorful with all kinds of Spring time blossoms.  I find it soothing to watch it fall outside my kitchen window.  Even my "Beanstalk transplant" of one week ago finally seems to have settled in.  No, it wasn't happy with the move, and drooped most of the week, despite my consoling and constant watering.  I tried to remind it of all the space it has to grow in, since it's out of the crowded box.  My only response from it was more wilting.  But yesterday, I caught a glimmer of hope, as I saw its bottom leaves perking up.  Ah hah! There is still lif...

It seems like it doesn't take much water to light up a Spring time flurry of blossoms and growth.  I am in awe of the spectacular beauty of roses, flowers, trees, vegetables and herbs that appear thrilled with the sunshine and occasional raindrops.  I am always surprised with what shows up in my yard.  Today, I am going to transplant my "Beanstalk."  I still do not know how it arrived in my yard.  At first it grew up by my rosemary and sage, and I thought it to be a pretty weed.  Last summer, it transplanted itself into the corner of my vegetable box and thrived until it got hit with  December's cold.  I thought I had pulled it out, but now in the last few weeks, it has grown back with a vengeance, and obviously is going to need more space than a crowded corner.  Plus, I need to let it know, it's not a vegetable. . .  But my favorite activity this Spring has been watching the birth of baby hummingbirds.  It's always just a gre...

Wow, here it is!  Rain, real wet drops of moisture filling up the sky and pouring down in buckets across our backyard.  Even a bit of thunder accompanied our morning storm.  It is only the 3rd time of rain since the start of the New Year.  Our area has been gypped so far from the hope of El Nino, since most of the rain has stayed up north.  Southern California has been like the forgotten step child , the one betrayed . . . Nature seems to be in a sad struggle.  The beautiful blue Earth that came from a planet of darkness without shape or form, is betrayed by its inhabitants.  We have abused our first responsibility granted to us by our Creator as we continue to ravage, pillage and rape the land.  Within my lifetime, 50 % of animal spe cies and fish no longer exist.  It seems that greed is our only motivation, and never being able to s atisfy it s urge we are willing to even betray all that we were entrusted with, even to betray ourselve...