Mary's Heartbeats

If only. . . it just isn't right.  It's not like He didn't get the message.  They had made a point to get word quickly to the Master, the Healer.  Their brother Lazarus was sick, death was inevitable if no help arrived.  Surely, He would come or even just say the word.  All this time, they had believed and followed Him.  He was a regular house guest for them, He hung out with them, He fit right in like family. . . He would certainly come.  They knew His compassion and care, they knew His love, surely He would be there now for them.  They didn't doubt their beliefs, this had to be the Promised One! If only . . . that's all that Martha could sputter out, as she saw Him finally walking up the road.  "If only, You would have been here, my brother wouldn't have died . . ." she cried to Jesus.  Where were you?  Didn't you get our message? What took you so long?  Her mind must have raced with so many other questions and accusation...

I had my week all planned out.  I just enjoyed a great run with the Goldy boy.  "You did good, ol'buddy!" as we came through the backyard gate.  He did his usual thing, prancing toward and plopping directly into the pool.  I stepped inside to get my water.  I looked up as I heard Goldyn in the corner of the yard barking ferociously through the fence at the dog on the other side.  It's not an unusual occurrence, in fact at times it seems to be a ritual, as to which one can outdo the other.  The noise stopped and again I looked up.  Goldyn was back in sight but seemed to be rubbing his lip with his paw.  "Come here!" I called to him.  He came dripping with blood from his mouth.  I did my best to see, and sure enough, his lip was ripped as well as what looked to be a jammed up tooth!  My plans flashed through my head and came to a screeching halt . . .untimely . . . The sun was warm, the breeze inviting, as I pulled my bike ou...

"You are an Eeyore!" my husband affirmed.  "No, I'm not,"  I protested, "I am always hoping for the best, I'm optimistic."  "You're an Eeyore, a doom and gloom, fearful that the sky has fallen," he continued with a chuckle.  "Well, maybe I am a bit realistic . . . " I paused.  Mmm . . . maybe I have been parading more like Eeyore these days.  We all know them well, the one who can rain on your parade and crush a celebration with just one look.  Yes, it's much too easy to feed our disappointments and starve our joy, especially when we want to feel that we've been right and wrongly used. He was an obvious fact.  He once was blind and now he had sight.  Yet, no one seemed to rejoice with him over his miraculous healing.  Instead, they argued with one another about how he got his sight.  They kept pestering him, asking "how did your eyes get open?"  They even dragged him into their synagogue, questioning hi...

All he knew was blackness.  Of course, he knew sounds and smells, probably far too well.  He knew the scent of fresh baked bread and savory meats, as well as spoiled fruit and rotten fish.  He knew the voice of his beloved parents, yet too often experienced the curse of those he got in the way of.  He heard mostly mean taunts constantly ringing in his ears and reminding him of his despised status of beggar.  Touch for him was known as well, but it had been years since he had a hug.  No, he was more often shoved, pushed around, and even stepped upon.  He seemed to always be in the way of folks. . . His ears perked up, he felt himself straining to hear.  It seemed as if he had become a point of conversation for a group of "passer-byers".  They seem to be asking someone about his fate, someone they called a Rabbi.  They asked the question that he himself had so often thought as well, had his sorry state been because of his parents' sin ...

Driving down the freeway, the large billboard caught my eye.  "Join us for our Easter Production,"  it beckoned with splashy brown and orange colors.  It made me think, yes, that's what the resurrection of Jesus Christ has been reduced to. . . a man made production.  Even this very day we celebrate, the headlines are all about the celebrities that attract the biggest Easter crowd.  E.G. "Tim Tebow draws thousands to Texas Easter service."  Once again, I had to think . . . who is Easter really about?  What happened to "Jesus draws a crowd?" I have grown tired of celebrity worship.  Yet, it seems in America that is what most Christians are interested in. We flock to mega churches, we drink in videos and studies all geared to keep us simple minded and complacent.  No longer is theology a priority to be taught.  No, it's better to read through the Bible in a year by reading only 5 minutes a day.  Never mind, contemplating or discuss...

Something was definitely wrong!  I looked around finding only open space and emptiness.  The in-store Post Office was blackened.  All the shelves seemed mostly empty.  The usual full array of orchids was down to just 4 small plants.  What was going on?  I asked a nearby grocery worker who told me that the store was closing in a few more days.  It would be moving from our neighborhood into Orange County. Ugh. . .  I felt my heart sink with the reality I was beholding with my own eyes.  One of my favorite stores, this Korean market, in which I weekly got my fresh produce from, along with wild fish, and various other items.  I loved the orchids that were routinely stocked and had purchased many for gifts, as well as for myself over the past few years.  Here we go again, with change and loss. . . two things that I am not dealing with quite well. . .   Yes, today is resurrection Sunday and I do rejoice in the fact that th...

I am waking up today in celebration of my brother's 60th year of birth.  Once again, I ponder, how can that really be true?  How did we arrive so quickly to this time in life?  I have no recourse to hold back time now, especially since both of my brothers are now living in their 60th decade!  That's just wrong even to think about, let alone write it down  . . .  It is like having an April Fools joke played on you everyday.  I understand my Dad much better as he use to say to me; inside he was so much younger and stronger than how he appeared in person.  I hear that now from Mom Ruth, who being 93 years young, is not desiring death but rather wanting to live so much more.  It has to be the paradox of life . . .  As a child, you think you will never grow up.  Time seems to drag so slowly.  Then you finally are "grown up" and you long for those former days of carefree living, when somebody else managed the hard stuff of life...

It was a mean plot, a deliberate attempt to harass a woman and perhaps finally confound the Teacher.  The group brought her kicking and struggling against their force, and placed her right in the center of His class that day.  "Now, what do you say about this one, this woman caught in the very act of adultery?  Our Law from Moses commands us to kill her with stones, what do you say?"  It was a baited question from the start.  It was meant to trap the only Wise One, and elevate their own self righteousness.  But not  . . . instead, it ignited their own backfire! His response was silence for some time.  He occupied Himself by bending over and writing on the ground with his finger.  At their insistence, He responded, "He who is without sin among you, let him be the first to throw a stone at her."  Then He went back to His writing on the ground.  Backfire, once again . . . as they one by one left the scene.   Soon, just ...