Mary's Heartbeats

I am in the zone enjoying my morning run with Goldyn. Making my way down the hill along the horse trail, I finally have hit pavement again. I'm clearing my mind with the cool air I collide with. All morning I have given thought to "pause". I can hear my yoga instructor's voice as she assists us with our poses. We are to breathe in deeply, expanding our chest, and for a moment or so, p-a-u-s-e, before breathing out through parted lips. It's a discipline to wait with breath. . . But next I find myself tripping on uneven sidewalk and sprawling forward on hands and knees looking directly up at Goldyn's behind! Wow, I guess this is pause! Picking myself up, I survey my damage. One skinned knee and a hole in my sweat pants. My hands are fine thanks to the gloves I had on. So up I go again, running back home. Yep, sometimes pause occurs in our life even when we don't expect it. The ability to wait, to rest, to be at peace with interruption runs contrar...

She called from across the street, her arms waving me over. "Come on and help yourself to fruit! The gate is open, it's always open anytime!" "I'll be right there!" I shouted back. Yes, I thought to myself, I can load up on wonderful ripe lemons, oranges, grapefruit, kumquats, and the sweetest tangerines you could ever have. Oh, we have the best neighbors! I grabbed two canvas bags and hurried across the street. I gushed my thanks to Dolly, but also wanted to catch up with her. I told her I had wondered how she and her husband were doing since I hadn't seen them outside as much. Actually, all was going pretty well for them, but they had had a scare a few months earlier. Their son had fallen, had suffered significant injuries, but had survived and now was doing well. However, more importantly, Dolly, a devout Catholic who always attends her weekly mass, was thankful that her son was grateful for her consistent prayers and had even called a ...

I always wanted a sister, and often times felt that I had missed out on that special relationship of closeness that exists between those who share the bond of sisterhood. I have had a taste of that joy with some of my girlfriends, but with various moves, new circumstances, and changing times, those relationships have seemingly been for just particular seasons in my life. As I grow older, I realize more and more that it is those relationships that have become quite dear to me, and they are priceless treasures that I cherish and often long for. Today is my sister's birthday, and I miss her dearly. She left her family of origin, feeling hurt, let down, and betrayed. Within her own family system she had felt attacked. There seemed to be no room for grace or mercy. Forgiveness seemed to be too costly, so her only recourse was to leave, pack up her stuff, and head one way to Texas. To this day, she has not been heard from, and yet I cannot forget her, for I love her with all my he...

He's already eye balling me at the kitchen sink, watching my every move. He is the most attentive and focused dog I have ever had. Once, I caught him watching the second hand of the clock, quite concerned that it continued to move even when he barked at it to stop. Goldyn knows the mind of his master, me. He knows that he can expect a walk and run as soon as I put on my UCLA cap. He sits up straight at the patio door, wagging his tail excitedly but controlled. He's got an eagle eye for things, especially paper towels, tissues, or plastic bottles. Why even this morning when walking out of our bedroom, he went instinctively over to the box of tissues and pulled out one for himself as if he had a runny nose! I don't know what it is with tissues . . . it must be the joy of tearing something up or the need for extra fiber?! But here we are on this beautiful walk and run today. I am practicing awareness and mindfulness, relishing the mindfulness of God. I breathe in the...

Leaving for work that day, I backed out of the driveway, listening to my favorite radio station. I enjoy contemporary Christian tunes, and that particular morning as a song was played, the phrase, "who are we that you are mindful of us?" jumped out at me. Wow, God is mindful of me! In all my effort to be more aware, live in the present moment, being mindful of my attention and actions, God is mindful of me . . . I knew that was a thought worth pondering for some time. In our day to day existence, we have become experts at talking, commenting, tweeting, always having something to say. But hearing and listening, let alone being aware are all lost practices. Maybe that is why we have forgotten that God is mindful of us because we're always thinking, talking, filling our mind up with endless chatter. Yet in spite of ignoring God, He is never unmindful of us, as the old Matthew Henry Commentary points out. He constantly is mindful of our case, our wants, our burdens; ...