Mary's Heartbeats

The royal party was quickly squelched with the appearance of the writing on the wall. The King was white with fear and panic until the Queen Mother reminded him of one who could certainly help. She told him not to worry because there is this man in his kingdom who has the spirit of the Most High in him. He is able to share understanding and enlightenment, as well as being most knowledgeable in solving impossible problems, even interpreting dreams, plus he possesses the greatest wisdom. He has done this all before, years ago when King Nebuchadnezzar was so perplexed. Now "go get Daniel," she says. The King responds and reminds Daniel that he has heard personally of his gift of wisdom. He places full confidence in him as the one who is able. His reputation precedes him . . . My reputation precedes me as I start out today. The choices that I've made, the way I have lived, the words I use to answer all are aspects of my reputation. My reputati...

At least seventy years had passed and a new King Belshazzar reigned. He was having a grand celebration with feast and festive drinking, when to his astonishment a hand appeared and wrote a message on the plaster of the candlelit wall. What on earth could that mean? His heart was faint, his knees and body trembled in utter fear, "get me the wisest of the wise men now!" But all those great minds could not decipher what it said or what it meant. The King's face grew paler and his heart now beat in panic, fear was all he felt. . . Fear is basic to being human or being the created. Fear is universal and is found in every culture. It binds us together, sometimes keeping us stuck in unhealthy situations. It can inhibit and guard us from taking risks. Fear can become our excuse when we are unsure of change, failure or success. I have found to get past fear I have to look beyond, I have to see myself doing what I've feared the most, be it blogging, or st...

I started out my walk bundled with a heavy heart. The clouds hung like sheer gray drapes over the mountain peaks, and the cool breeze matched my deary mood. I walked on in step with Goldyn at my side. But along our morning trek, we were met with cheery colors of blooming pansies, snapdragons, tulips and buttercup daffodils. We even brushed against red bushes bursting with clusters of berries. In fact, the colors were so vivid and vibrant against the darkened sky, that all I could do was smile. Isn't that just like our Creator to give us bouquets beneath the clouds to remind us that He cares and always loves us?

More bad dreams, the King continued to lay upon his bed and suffer such peculiar visions. What did all of it mean? Once again he called for his wisest of the wise men and found that they were just as stumped as he. But Daniel finally came, and with him came relief. The King remembered that this one was able, this one had done the impossible task before, even retelling his dream and revealing the meaning. The King's confidence soared, "you are able. . . " It's a simple phrase that says so much. It seems to empower the weakest in the moment of need, at always just the right time. I watched that as the Olympic downhill skier prepared herself for the pending race. The TV camera caught her going through the motions of skiing down the hill, her arms and body all in sync as she visualized her moves. No doubt that has to be terrifying to stare down that steep mount and realize you have a faster time to beat, and the course has had its hazards as those...

Driving down the breezy boulevard, a sign posted on the office front caught my attention. Big black letters read "Ethical Home Health Care." I thought to myself, that though it boasted of being ethical and was making a point to advertise that way, it made me suspect that it could be completely false. I have grown skeptical of labels, particularly of individuals or groups that seem to emphasize how good or right they are. It's so very easy to verbalize that we are upright, ethical, always doing the right thing; but it seems too difficult to live that out. It seems the louder or bolder we proclaim our goodness, the worse our behavior becomes. It seems that we live in a day, when it is easier to say than to be. . . So today, I want to be what I say, I want my words to match my actions. Perhaps, I can start by not broadcasting all my selfish gains. I can start by being humble, admitting that I too can do the worst. It's only by the grace of God that I ca...

Lord, sometimes I wonder if my praying is enough. There are times I am completely overwhelmed with life and its demands. There are days of unexpected news that can shatter future plans. I wonder why it seems there are no easy answers, no instant relief from pressing problems, so much of life is just unknown. I feel exactly like my golf game, just driving the ball into the trees, only able to get next into a bunker, and then to land deeply in the sand, all so far from the target green . . . Lord, I wonder is my praying enough? Yes, truth be told, my praying probably isn't enough. But You, O Lord, always bring me back to this, You are enough to see me through each day. You intercede when I have no words to even pray, you know my thoughts, you know what I will have to face today. You intervene even when things remain the same, Your presence never leaves me. And even if I face a fiery furnace, at least I know You are there beside me, and You will keep me, even if it seems...

They were exiles, a captured people of the mighty Babylonian empire. Yet, these three intelligent young men became leaders in their captive land and were entrusted to govern and serve King Nebuchadnezzar. They had won his personal favor, and through their ability and honest integrity, they were found to be trustworthy of all the empire had to give. But one day they had an opportunity to compromise their values, to just give into the majority rule, to swear allegiance and throw their trust into a golden image. So they were brought before the King, now completely mad and angry, "Do it or die! I'll throw you in the burning furnace!" But they remained unnerved and calm. They just repeated their former stance, and concluded that even if their God would let them die a fiery death, that would be okay, just as it would be if they would come out alive. They had faith that even in the worst of days, even with a tragic, senseless death to face, it would be okay. . . Is it ...

They all sat huddled around the brown lunch tables. Conversation was light with occasional laughter, but their faces reflected a much more hesitant mood in the air. Now what? Was today going to be the end of their work or was it the end of the chaos stirred up? They watched her stand up, they listened attentively, like never before. She announced and confirmed that changes had come, but then unexpectedly, she thanked and expressed appreciation for each very one. They clapped and they cheered as she read through her list of personal remarks for everyone. Her words were accompanied with flowers, a note, and a gift card to use. . . The hesitant mood quickly vanished from sight, they seemed somewhat stunned, but entirely grateful. Sometimes we think people can't change, we tend to see them in only a negative way. We paint them into a corner and don't give them much room to come out. That blinds us from seeing them in any different light. But today was so differ...

The halls were buzzing with excitement, the day had finally arrived. The hospital lobby was shiny,the windows were spotless. A colorful, tropical flower arrangement sat on the front desk. Bouncing balloons lined the sidewalks to guide the prospective patients to their special unit. Wow, how could we ever be so lucky to get the chance to receive so many patients on one given day? It seemed to be the break that was needed, especially when most other hospitals were having great financial hardship in providing in-patient care. It promised to be just like the old days, when patients were able to stay for an unlimited time; "happy days were here again". . . at least that's what we thought. . . But it didn't quite turn out that way . . . the buzz soon stopped, the balloons drooped, and the patients never did arrive. It all turned out to be a hoax, just one person's fabrication that preyed on a gullible administrator, desperate to fill his empty hospit...

It was an unexpected phone call so early in the morning. I was somewhat surprised by the voice on the other end, but the news that was shared was much more unexpected. I listened silently and thought to myself, "how can all this be, especially from one who aspires such integrity?" Again, I find myself without answers or causes or reasons, except to say that somehow there is always the temptation or the danger to become like the very ones we despise. Yes, it is a fact of life that not all of our situations will be fair or just, and usually most will not be. But that doesn't give license to be like the rest, especially when given a position of leadership. Even if your time is short in a no-win circumstance, you still maintain honesty, integrity, and respect. Although, I was not expecting that unexpected call, it served to remind me to do what is expected, especially when it's character that counts . . .

I wonder Lord. . . What if I were the last to know the truth, the way of Your great grace and mercy? What if I were the last to know Your peace and presence in my soul? What if I were the last to know forgiveness, redemption, new life and hope? What if I were the last to know the love and care of friends and family? Would I live a different way today? Or would I make a point to walk my life in such a way, That everyone around me would know and see, Your love and grace through me?

"Clouds are the dust of His Feet and watching the evening sky I chuckled to think,'How neat, God just passed by." (Ruth Bell Graham) I am enjoying the freshly rinsed blue sky this morning. There are fat puffy cotton ball clouds hanging so low, as if by a string. The other day, the clouds were just a thin white roll tucked in between the foothills and peaks of snow Today the clouds are a bit gray, and look as if they are being sucked right through a straw, up into the mountain's mouth. Every where I look there are so many reminders of God who creates and makes. . . It is humbling to think that our Creator God is so relational and takes the time each day to reach out to us. It may be just through the great outdoors, but it's also in the knowledge, even in the scientific information we discover. He has generously given truth to all mankind, since the earth began, and tries to lead us into understanding. Maybe that is why he chose to descend h...

The rain pounded hard all through the night, and here I was sleeping in until late. It still was a steady downpour as I pushed Goldyn out through the door to do his usual morning routine. He didn't even want to stay out in the rain for too long. The tiny green hummingbird was sucking the feeder completely dry, he kept coming back, as if begging for more. My husband called for a hot breakfast treat, some blueberry waffles, sausage, eggs, and a cup of hot coffee for now. I smiled as I started to cook, I love to be in on these thick rainy days. I made some fresh syrup to replenish the hummingbird feeder; the little bird seemed so happy and pleased. I stirred up the waffles and began to pour batter into my parents' old grill. That waffle iron has made so many batches over 74 years, I love how its faithful to work even now! The sausage is steaming, the eggs almost done, when I happen to catch the start of a sentimental dog movie just coming on. Everyone is now fe...

There never seems to be enough time or the right time as I'm staring at my laptop screen and struggling to collect my empty thoughts. I must admit I am challenged to write a daily blog, especially when my mind is vacant. Yet, here I am still at it, even when I'm running way behind or staying up too late. Why am I trying so hard? I guess because I do enjoy it when the words begin to flow, but the waiting time seems oh, too long . . . Perhaps there was another instance when time just lagged and came up empty handed. The setting was ancient Babylon, with a short-fuse, feisty King. Poor Nebuchadnezzar had such a sleepless night with dreams that deeply disturbed him. All he wanted was his personal wise men and counselors to tell him what he'd dreamed and solve the mystery of it's meaning. But unfortunately for them, they were quite perplexed to do such a thing and seemed to be just stalling. The King's reaction was rash and rough; he threatened deat...

I hadn't seen her for nearly two years. It had been almost five years ago when she first walked into the exam room with panic all over her face. So much had happened to her, she was caught in the chaos, and her body had broken down. Eventually with time and rest, her spirit found peace, and with medical intervention she found relief. But she always ventured back onto her merry-go-round of stress. . . I welcomed her embrace and was so glad to see her. She told me once more, how month after month, there had been such major events all too consuming for her to address. "It was one thing after another, " she said, "I had no other recourse." And now she was worried again that she'd let herself go, her blood pressure kept climbing. . . There is something about modern society, it is all too consuming, yet so inviting. Everyday it welcomes us to join on the merry-go-round that whirls us around at an impossible pace. We grow accustom...

There are periods of preparation in our lives. Sometimes it is formal preparation, as in higher education, but often it is our life experiences that shape us for our call. I know at times my life is but a daily grind, and I find it easy to get caught up with going through the motions, but I need to remember that everything I face today is opportunity for growth. Even if I'm in the most imperfect situation, my time does not go wasted. Somehow in the future, what I've learned today and have passed on, will make a difference to someone, even if it's me. That's why I love these old, old stories of unlikely characters becoming great, like Moses, Joseph, Mordecai, Esther, and now Daniel. They all start out as captured people who end up capturing the hearts and wills of those who are their captives. But they do that with great patience, with intentions to serve their God first and then to serve others. They live transparent lives, not afraid to learn the ways of their...

I must admit to be intentional is not an easy thing. I have discovered through blogging daily, at least attempting to, that I have had to become more intentional. If I don't first think about it and then actually set aside time, it won't get done. Yesterday, I thought about my intentions all day. I wanted to intentionally do the right things, extend favor unexpectedly to ones I met throughout my day. But it seemed I didn't have much opportunity. I let a man go ahead of me in the grocery line, but then I was put first by the friendly checker in the next aisle over. I guess it was her intention to move the lines a little faster. I had every intention to fix my husband dinner before I headed off to yoga, but my afternoon chores of putting away groceries, cleaning, and washing consumed my time, plus I ended up fatigued. I had to call and tell him, "sorry, you're on your own tonite ." I had good intentions, but maybe too many, as they ended up as only wi...

"For Mordecai the Jew was second only to King Ahasuerus . . . one who sought the good of his people and one who spoke for the welfare of his whole nation." (Esther 10:3) I continue to discover that it's not what we say or profess, but how we live our lives. It's very easy to post an opinion, to offer advice, to suggest a comment, but what will really matter is if we live it out. The political arena is a nightmare, the news is filled with spin, and on that alone, we are all too quick to attack and defend. But is that one who truly seeks the good of his own people? I feel at times we have forgotten how to be good, genuine, and kind. We have forgotten how to live words of truth and peace. Even people of my faith forsake their families, live a private life so foreign to their public words and deeds. We have become incongruent, out of sync with life, we have lost our salty savor, and we are tasteless to the world . . . I need to let down my defenses,...