Mary's Heartbeats

Today is a monumental day in our family history.  My oldest brother turns the wonderful age of 65.  He becomes an official recipient of Medicare, along with  half priced meals for dining out, and discount airplane seats. The golden years or better yet, the sunset years loom before him.  It still sounds strange to me to say I have a brother who is 65 years old; it's like saying you have a brother who could be your father. . . but not.  With this day, I realize another unfortunate fact.  My brothers and I are separated by multiples of five, so with the oldest being 65, it's only a matter of months before we too will join him at 60 years, and 55 years for me, no less.  Wow, that means we all will be senior citizens!  Not only that but we could be considered geriatrics!  Whew! Somehow, it seemed so much better in years before, 5-10-15, 20-25-30, even 40-45-50!  I wonder how did we arrive so quickly? I pondered these numbers as I walke...

Sometimes I just don't get it.  Each time I plant my garden of vegetables, I carefully work the soil.  I put in fresh fertilizer to replenish the nutrients, and dig deep into boxes to get it all thoroughly mixed. I pick healthy plants to start out the season and provide the water to get them growing.  I watch for progress, checking for a good outcome of plentiful crops.  Sometimes I have boxes that overflow with abundance and sometimes like now, nothing to really speak of.  My arugula seems to have been satisfied by some critter I never actually saw, but each day I went out there to look, more leaves were chomped away.  The tomatoes turned spindly, the peppers rarely produced, the eggplants just grew leaves, the onions were salvageable, but the raspberry bush stay leaned.  How could it go from such an abundance to pittance?  Viewing my summer garden of defeat, I realize that I've been a person who focuses on the outcome.  And of course, w...

I didn't plant it.  To be honest, I have no idea how it came to grow in my herbal garden.  At first, I thought it was one of my greens.  It looked to be a healthy plant to eat.  But when I tasted its leaves, it only gave me bitterness.  I continued to watch it grow; it even brought a few others with it.  Then it sprouted deep maroon tassels, and I knew that it was not a herb but a flower for my enjoyment.  Mm . . . it must be a Saliva plant, but I have never had that in my yard, and yet, here it grows.  It's stately, a vision right before my eyes whenever I stand and look out my kitchen window.  It's tough, even if it tends to droop and wilt in the summer sun, it will bounce right back to full stance after a spray of water.  It came into my life, uninvited, unplanned, and unknown to me.  Yet, here it grows with kind intention right before me everyday. It's rather like the kind intention I have experienced recently.  Thr...

The evening breeze and sunset invited me to sit back on my patio lounge chair.  As I did, here came Goldyn too.  He invited himself onto my lap, all 85 lbs. of himself.  He has never thought his size a limitation for my lap. After a few turns and readjustments, there we sat, serene and squeezed.  For a moment, I was reminded of when my son, a toddler, did the same.  I'd be sitting on the couch, writing, and up he'd come to squeeze between the corner of the couch and me.  There in his spot, he contentedly sat with me.  Now, after all these years, I have my Goldy mimicking the same. . .  The quiet gave me time to think about my day.  I often find myself wondering what is God up to in my life?  I really don't understand His ways or thoughts. The turn of events in our life was something I never dreamed possible.  But that was being totally naive.  I don't know why we think we have earned immunity from hardship.  So when that...

"Oh, dear, I've had an accident!" she exclaimed.  "I guess I'm just not humble enough yet, the Lord has to still humble me. . . "  Her words caught me off guard.  I hadn't view the situation from her eyes.  No, my response was here is something I can do to intervene, I can actually use my nursing skills while showing my love and care.  I always wanted to be the caretaker of my parents as their age progressed, but as things turned out, they independently lived before they passed on.  But at that moment with my aunt, I had a chance to give a little to one who had given so much to me throughout the years.  What caught me by surprise was how she thought she was still in need to be humbled.  My aunt was so saintly to me, she had been the one who cared for all her family, for her elderly mother, aunt and uncle.  She had seemingly sacrificed her personal life to provide stability and a loving home for all of them.  She loved to entertain, her h...

It slammed into the shore, spraying sea foam while churning up the sandy beach.  I found myself caught and tumbled helplessly with it.  It's like being in a giant washing machine, spinning and turning upside down as water forces you this way and that.  You are under the wave's control, it grips you in its power.  When it decides to let go, you hope it has at least left you beached and not taken you back to sea. . .  I felt that same surprising turmoil as I ran today in the cool September morning.  The blast of air I ran against immediately awakened my senses.  But for now, I guess I have resurfaced for I find myself breathing air again.  Surviving the surf is but a taste of surviving the storm.  Modern life is trapped in days of tremendous storm, we see the devastation daily. It seems we are hit with daily tsunamis--be it natural, physical, emotional, or financial.  I don't know why we are so stunned, for history has always reminded ...